umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
