Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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