dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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