Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize