i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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