Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
