I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
