You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize