Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
