my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
