it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
