Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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