im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
