and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
