Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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