then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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