Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
