so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Say something about gay babies.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Holy sore nipples Batman
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize