Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Did I show you my penis last night?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
