My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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