I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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