Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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