she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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