People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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