But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
