week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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