what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
