it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize