apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
