I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
