Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
