and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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