she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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