if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
