Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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