; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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