Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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