I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
