FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
