so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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