At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you had me at cake vodka
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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