she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
