Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Randomize