i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
These tits shall not be calmed
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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