there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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