Kiss
Puke
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
