I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
and you fell through a lawn chair
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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