I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
