Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
