like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize