He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
