Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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