i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
