my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
