would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You can't motorboat a personality
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
