the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
