Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
