You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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