I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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