You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
