It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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