hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
