Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
